Just over a month ago I asked you to "have a heart... donate a kidney" complete with cute photography work showing me holding the same red heart in the location of my own heart and the approx location of where your kidney will end up inside of me if I get your kidney. This was a call to action post meant to move you... inspire you... make you laugh a little... make you think a little... make you want to give up one of your kidneys so I can see another 20 years of life.
I failed.
In the month that has passed only two new inquiries have come in and I happen to know that one of those came by way of word of mouth through high school friends and not through my call to action email. I know several of my closest friends and family have rallied on my behalf and spread the word and some have even attempted to be that person whose kidney keeps me living. It isn't an easy process and the chances are that you are more likely to be disqualified for a handful of reasons including age, weight, smoking, and a slew of other more unique situations that I won't talk about here as they would be considered private.
You don't know that my goal on that day was to shake out 6 people who would be willing candidates because I'm usually not that specific about my intentions... I like to keep it vague. But today I'm coming at you all from a different angle. I want you to know what's going on in my mind. You see it takes about 2 months for the transplant center to run the course with each new potential candidate. So six new candidates means I don't have to bug you all for about a year while they slowly eliminate everyone from this group of six. Unless of course one of these six happens to be a match... in which case hooray for me... I get a new kidney and another shot at living a full life.
Did you know that if it wasn't for my kidney disease I would be a perfectly healthy 48 year old man? I'm very unlike most kidney disease patients in that respect. Most of the folks I see with kidney disease have it as a secondary ailment. Usually they had diabetes first. Several of them are in their 70's and 80's and have already seen their children grow up and go through college and start careers and get married and have children... and that is really all we can truly hope for in life isn't it? The rest is all gravy. The vacations, the toys, the celebrations... they're all part of the fun but none of it compares to the joy of watching our children succeeding in their own ways.
Now I don't mean to suggest that those folks with other disease or who have already had relatively full lives don't deserve new kidneys as much as I do... but I do have so much to live for and so many years ahead of me and quite honestly I'm not going to make it without you.
That's what I want you to think about today. I'm not going to make it without you.
I'm not going to make it with out you.
Without you I won't see Amber marry the man of her dreams and have children.
Without you I won't see Charly graduate from high school and become the famous rap star that he thinks he wants to be (yes my 14 year old son fancies himself a rapper and I have to admit he's pretty good at it).
Without you I won't see my little princess attend her high school prom (does it help you to know that I just burst into tears as I wrote that). I won't witness her experience a broken heart. I won't see her go off to college and eventually meet the man of her dreams and marry and have children.
Without you I am nothing more than a human pin cushion (thanks for that visual Rita Stone) sitting in a dialysis chair for four hours, three days a week so I can stay alive long enough to hopefully find a donor and receive the kidney that buys me another chance.
I know its a selfish request that I make of you. I am selfish. I do want to see all of those things I mentioned come to pass... and I want to get off dialysis... because quite honestly it sucks.
So help me find just 4 more people today to fill out this year... and I'll be back in another year to ask this of you all again if I need to... in fact I'll be back next month if I don't see four new people.
And know this too... I am so very thankful to all of you who attempt to be a donor and to those of you who just simply help spread the word.
And a final note... if you do step up and contact MGH on my behalf... please don't forget or delay to follow through on the steps they ask of you because once you're in their sites they will delay on looking at others until you have been eliminated... the longer it takes you the longer it takes for me to eventually find my kidney.
The number to call is 617-726-6631 or you can call toll free at 1877-644-2860.
Thank you all.
My name is Bil... and I have kidney disease.
