Sleep. In 2008 you began your departure from my world. It was slow at first with your once a week visits of head aches and vomiting, but gradually you visited upon me countless nights of torturous hours of these headaches and an ever increasing need to pee, sometimes 5 times a night, draining me of my energy, my vibrance, my joie de vivre.
I remember you though. I recall the joy of a full night of sleep and the rewards of having the energy to do anything, including 80 hour work weeks and 10 day hikes through the woods of Massachusetts. Sleep has always come easy to me, even in the bad years but a full night of sleep is a long ago memory.
Two weeks ago I developed a cough. I also noticed I couldn't breath as deeply as I usually can. I mentioned it at a dialysis session and they set me up for a chest x-ray. That was a Wednesday night, Thursday my nephrologist called to let me know that I had some fluid in my lungs and that she wanted to increase the amount of fluid they pull off of me from a half KG to two KGs. Meanwhile I was coughing and she asked about the cough and I mentioned that was the reason I even started discussing my symptoms with the dialysis clinic and she said it almost sounded like pneumonia.
The seed of pneumonia planted I called my PCP and scheduled an appointment for Friday prior to my dialysis treatment. My PCP couldn't specifically say that I had pneumonia but she was more worried that as a kidney disease patient I might have congestive heart failure. She said the only way to know was to send me immediately to the ER. She called ahead to let them know I was coming and what she expected them to do.
ER visits being what they are, never quick and simple, meant that for the next few hours when I should have been receiving me dialysis treatment I was instead being hooked to electrodes and having blood samples drawn, nitroglycerin patches on my shoulder and oxygen in my nose. Ultimately they determined that I had neither pneumonia or congestive heart failure, but just had excessive fluid. And of course since I still needed to dialize, they decided to keep me over night and dialize me in the hospital.
The nitroglycerin gave me a serious headache which ultimately led to vomiting. The hospital didn't dialize me until 10:00 PM... all I wanted was to sleep but couldn't for the headache not to mention the constant visits from nurses wanting to check my blood pressure or my breathing or some other vital sign. Turning on the lights making noises keeping me awake until finally 10:00 pm came and they brought me to the dialysis room.
Within 10 minutes of being hooked to the machine I fell asleep from pure exhaustion. I awoke as they were pulling me off the machine three hours and three and half KGs later. No headache. Breathing normal. Feeling somewhat rested. They brought me back to my room and I peed just once all night. It was an amazing night of sleep.
All of my treatments since that night have including taking a minimum of two KGs off of me, and up to three KGs. No more head aches and vomiting. No more peeing 5 times per night... just once or twice. Just nights of sleep.
Sleep. You have returned to me. For eight long years I have been missing you. I do hope you've returned for good. I so appreciate your night long embrace. If you leave me again.. these days will certainly be cherished and remembered as the days you came back... at least for a short while. And while I have you I will sleep you long and deep for as many nights as I can hold you.
My name is Bil... and I have kidney disease
