I generally don't let all this kidney disease stuff bother me... I'm too busy living to be worried about being sick or even the likelihood of dying young, which I don't really expect to happen anytime soon. People call me brave, but I suspect I'm more likely just oblivious most of the time... too dumb to realize I should be nervous or worried about anything. Ignorance is bliss they say, right?
Today I go in to Lahey Clinic for my catheter, which will be used to hook me up to the dialysis machine as I receive treatments... which will start tomorrow. I found out yesterday that I can't get the catheter wet... that there's a risk of infection... the kind of infection that will make you real sick real fast. The doctor I met with inquired about why I was choosing a catheter over a fistula... as if someone had even asked me previously which I preferred or explained to me the real difference and the risks associated with either.
For those like me who are oblivious and have no idea what a fistula is... its essentially a vein they add to your arm and it takes about 6-8 weeks to mature (to be ready for use). It is used as a connection to the body through which the dialysis machine can be connected... so you don't need a catheter. Unlike the catheter... once its established it has practically zero risk of infection and its okay to get it wet.
WTF?!
You mean to tell me that three months ago when you were all telling me that I'll probably need to go on dialysis soon... you could have set me up with a fistula and starting tomorrow I could already use it for dialysis and I'd still be able to take showers during this upcoming stretch of 90 degree weather and I'd also be able to take a refreshing dip into the ocean... but now I need to wait 6-8 weeks because no one thought of this sooner?
I repeat WTF?!
So I'm not completely oblivious. I get it... you fucked up... the kind of fuck up that if it were me at my job I might find my ass out on the street looking for a new job. Some shit just bothers the heck outta me.. and Lahey Clinic has been on a roll with me recently and its getting under my skin... and that's not good... you won't like me when I get mad... it aint pretty.
My name is Bil... and I have fucking kidney disease... (now pardon me while I try to go calm down)
i don't blame you for being mad. i'd be furious. your team totally dropped the ball. the entire summer you get to sit on the sidelines? not fair + they need to hear about it....maybe they'll call you....yet again on the wrong phone. breathe bil, it will all be okay - annie and + will hose you down from the waist down. promise. xo
ReplyDeleteffs.
ReplyDeleteI understand how difficult it is to make sure someone understands exactly what's going on with their computers. I overlook little details that I think they already knew, all the time.
But you know, I don't think I've ever cost someone months of frustration, aggravation, and possible infection.
Best of luck, Bil. Thoughts are with you and yours.